1.女：“只要有钱，我嫁给谁都行。”男：“银行的保险柜你嫁吗?”1 female: "as long as the money, I marry whoever." Male: "you marry it safe bank?"
2.争吵的时候，男人和女人的区别就像是手枪和机关枪的区别。2 when the quarrel, the man and the woman's difference is like pistols and machine guns distinction.
3.我妻子想减肥，所以她每天都去骑马。结果马一个月之中瘦了四十斤。3 my wife wants to lose weight, so she rides a horse every day. The horse a monththin forty catties.
4.病人：“医生，你把剪刀留在我肚子里了。”“没关系，我还有一把。”The 4 patient: "doctor, you put the scissors in my stomach." "Never mind, I have a."
5.法官：你为什么要印假钞?被告无辜地说：因为我不会印真钞。5 judge: Why did you make the counterfeit money? The accused innocence say:because I will not print the real one.
6.妻：“男人，都是胆小的。”夫：“不见得，否则我何以会与你结婚。”6 wife: "the man, is timid." Husband: "not necessarily, otherwise I will marry with youwhy."
7.上联：哈哈哈哈哈，下联：嘿嘿嘿嘿嘿。横批：神经有病7 couplet: ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha, the second line of a couplet: Hey hey hey hey hey. Hengpi: nerve disease
8.第一年：他说，她听。第二年：她说，他听。第三年：他俩说，邻居们听。8 of the first year: he said, listen to her. Second years: she said, he heard. The third year: they say, the neighbors listen.
9.如果我们生存的冰冷的世界依然难改变，至少我还拥有你化解冰雪的容颜。9 if we survive the cold world is still difficult to change, at least I have you dissolve the appearance of ice and snow.
10.贼甲：“快数数今天一共抢了多少钱?”贼乙：“不用，明天看看报纸就知道了。”10 Thieves A: "quick count today totally robbed how much?" Zei Yi: "no, tomorrow will have a look at the newspaper to know."
11.老师：“彼得，你知道老鼠能活多少年吗?”彼得：“这个就要看猫的心思了。”11 the teacher: "Peter, you know that rats can live for many years?" Peter: "we should look at the cat."
12.袋鼠对狗说：“我可以把手机放在我的袋子里，而你只能把手机挂在屁屁上!”The 12 kangaroo say to the dog: "I can put the phone in my bag, and you can only putthe phone hung on the ass!"
13.猪八戒：我改名叫赛潘安啦，很多美女在等我呢!孙悟空：莫不是你上网了吧，呆子。13 pig eight quit: I change name to call a match Pan Anla, many beauty waiting for me!Sun Wukong: could you get to the Internet, idiot.
14.女儿问妈妈：“爸爸从前害羞吗?” “要是他不害羞，你现在至少大四岁!”The 14 daughter asked her mother: "Dad used to be shy?" "If he does not shy, you are now at least four years!"
15.父：你都这样大了，该找一个老婆了。子：是呀，但茫茫人海，我找谁的老婆呢?15 for the father: you so big, should seek a wife. Son: Yes, but the vast sea of humanity, I find who's wife?
16.女：“你跟我说话怎么老嚼着糖?”男：“不嚼糖哪来那么多甜言蜜语?”16 female: "you talk with me how old chew sugar?" Male: "don't chew sugar which to come to so many sweet words?"
17.甲女：“你的未婚夫知道你的年龄吗?”乙女：“是的，他知道一部分。”17 a woman: "your fiance know your age?" Woman B: Yes, he knew part."
18.“我把她当做北极看待!”“如何?”“她冷得像冰一般，又像磁石那么能吸引我。18 "I regarded her as the Arctic to treat!" "How?" "She's cold as ice, and like a magnetthat attracts me.